BREAKING NEWS: Mystery Substance Found

A hazmat unit was called into Moore County late Monday night because a local resident found a suspicious bag containing a green leafy substance.  This bag arose the curiosity of the neighbors, so a police unit was dispatched to the scene for an investigation.  Local police worked with the hazmat unit for hours doing various tests and forensics to determine the origin of the substance, which weighed just under three and a half grams.  Extra measures were taken after the recent discovery of a white powdery substance in Carthage. The leafy substance resonated an attractive smell that made the officers hungry.  The forensics team found an oil residue on the leaf and connected it to a certain oil found on Subway sandwiches.  After further lab testing, it was confirmed that the leafy green substance was known as “Lactuca Sativa”, otherwise commonly known as “Lettuce”.  Now hungry, the officers quickly went to their next location which was the Subway in Whispering Pines.  "Everyone knows this is the best Subway in town because the other ones never have the parmesan herb bread", stated one officer.